Part three in our 'nailing the speech' series - a few hints and tips for the father of the bride. Equal parts cheese and class (hopefully!)
It is traditional that the father of the bride, aside from any introductions from an MC, speaks first at weddings. Obviously there are no set rules and your wedding may do things however they want. As father of the bride, particularly if you’re speaking first, think of yourself as the warm-up performance for the night. Everyone is ready for you!
So - what should you actually INCLUDE in your speech?
Whether it’s a quick teaser or a vintage showstopper, think about including these basic elements to cover your bases:
Start with an introduction - let everyone know who you are. Hopefully you shouldn’t mess that one up! If you’re naturally shy or afraid of speaking, don’t be afraid to mention it. It will endear the crowd to your plight. Welcome and thank the guests. Again, pretty basic stuff. Say thanks to everyone for making the effort to come. Make special mention of those that have contributed - the bride’s Mum, groom’s parents etc. Focus on your girl first. How beautiful she looks tonight, what a great and inspiring person she is etc, but don’t forget that you can insert some humour. It can’t be too hard to conjure up at least one story from when she was a little girl. Think of something embarrassing but ultimately adorable.
The new son - for better or worse he is part of your family now. Welcome him and the rest of his family to yours. You can use humour here again if you had some apprehension about him initially.
Offer some advice - you have a lifetime of advice to give the young couple so share some of that wisdom with them. Even if you’re divorced you can probably use it as a humour tool and gives you some more ammunition when it comes to marriage or wives. Depending on where you fit in the timing, you can also do a toast. There will be a few throughout the evening so you might as well get in on the act. It’s a tidy way to wrap up the speech.
KEEP IT SHORT
The crowd are in for at (very) least another half hour of speeches after you’ve finished so it’s important to be mindful of time. Some fathers can be notorious wafflers so try to avoid dragging things out on the night. As you’re the first ‘act’ - maybe try to keep it around that 7 minute mark. That is plenty of time to say everything that needs to be said without sapping the crowds energy early on in the piece.
KEEP IT CLEAN
Pretty self explanatory, really. Don’t be the weird Dad that makes crude jokes about your daughter and her new husband. For that matter don’t make crude jokes at all - leave that for the best man as people will at least have an expectation from him. You probably want to avoid too much ribbing of the groom and his family unless you’ve known them for a very long time. Again probably a job for the best man. That said, there is plenty of room for humour outside of these boundaries. Marriage, kids, divorces or any other life experiences are generally a treasure trove of funny tales.
KEEP IT IN
Okay, okay, okay. You’re losing your little girl. She’s finally off to spend the rest of her life under the care of another man and likely to start a family of her own at some point. This can be a very emotional time for fathers and
especially so if you’re close with your daughter. Try to keep those tears at bay and don’t descend into blubbering mess territory.
KEEP IT NATURAL
We can hear you asking - what does that even mean? Well, what it means is that you should just try to talk in your normal voice, at your normal pace. We don’t recommend READING your entire speech off a piece of paper as that sounds very unnatural. Instead, write yourself some bullet points and tell the stories based on the points, in your own way.
Don’t be afraid of pauses and to take your time if you feel you’re getting overwhelmed. Any pauses in a speech seem like a huge deal to you but to the audience it can give a good sense of pace or anticipation. If you’re really stuck, just take deep breath, a sip of your beer and move on. Even if you have to move on with a change of tack, it won’t matter.
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To read part 4 of our 'Nailing the Speech' series, CLICK HERE