Part four in our 'nailing the speech series' - FATHER OF THE GROOM - Wise knower of all things about his son.
A groom’s parents speaking at a wedding is not always guaranteed and is certainly far less common than the father of the bride. We have seen it a lot more at modern weddings so felt it a necessary inclusion for those looking for some advice. In early wedding traditions, only three speeches were given - father of the bride, groom and of course the best man.
But times have changed and for many weddings it is more about who the bride and groom are close with. In general this means more speeches from the likes of you (groom’s father), either of the bride or groom’s mothers, and almost certainly a lively speech from the maid of honour who will look to mirror the best man in her mocking of the bride.
Let’s face it, you have raised and loved this boy (yeah, he’s still a boy in your eyes) for his whole life, probably forked out thousands for the wedding and potentially travelled from afar. You have certainly earned the right to say a few words!
Much of the previous advice about the father of the bride’s speech also applies to yours, however we will go over what you should in say yours as it should have a different focus.
KEY POINTERS
- Start by acknowledging the toast of the previous speaker - this is a good spot to inject some humility, perhaps suggesting it may be hard to follow on from such a great speech.
- Thank the guests, although you probably want to keep this brief as they’ll be getting thanked all night - perhaps just focus on anyone who has made a special effort to come.
- If the bride's parents acknowledged your contributions to the wedding, then obviously you need to reply with thanks of your own. This will depend on the various contributions, of course.
- Celebrate the joining of two great families, and thank the bride’s family for welcoming your son and the rest of your family into theirs.
- Do not forget to heap praise onto your new daughter-in-law. Much of modern weddings is focussed on the bride and although your son is part of that picture, you’ll look great if you pay particular attention to what a great addition she has been to your son’s life.
- Now to focus on your son. Compliment him on whatever is appropriate such as the success of the wedding, or finding the girl of his dreams. There are some easy opportunities at humour here as you allude to the fact that you never thought you’d see your son grow up from the little punk that used to run around your back yard. A story, of course, never goes astray.
- Lastly, as with the bride’s father, offer some advice. You could echo what he has already said (especially if it was funny), or you could use some favourite anecdotes of your own about the rollercoaster of married life. Even if your own track record is less than ideal, this can be cause for humour and reflection as alluded to earlier.
You may want to consider taking the mantle of reading letters and emails from family who could not attend. This could also be the best man but it is often better from a family member. All the words of ‘final advice’ given to the father of the bride also apply to you, so read through them as well, before you get planning.
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To read part 5 of our 'Nailing the Speech' series, CLICK HERE