Part five in our 'nailing the speech' series - The Groom // AKA the 'Thank You Man'
Ultimately it is the groom’s role to be the gentleman of the evening. His role can really be summed up in just a couple of words: “thank you”. That said, as with all other speeches there are a set of elements that you should include and of course many layers for you to dive into.
Traditionally yours would have been the second speech in the wedding, after the bride’s dad (or mum!), but these days many grooms like to leave their speech towards the end to make sure that they can include anyone that may not have been thanked, or really to have their moment in the sun too.
If you’re one of the few who enjoys public speaking or have been looking forward to this moment, congratulations. We can be pretty sure the majority of other grooms out there have been dreading this moment since the thought entered their mind and hasn’t left, all those months ago. Although you’re probably nervous and emotional as hell, this is actually a real opportunity to get up and speak from the heart. To acknowledge everyone who has helped you become the man you are today, and of course the people that made your wedding a reality.
If your new wife is not giving a speech (still very common) then make sure you write and plan your speech with her so that she is comfortable with everything. Remember to use “we” instead of “I” when thanking people you’re a couple now and this speech is effectively from the both of you.
SPECIFICS:
- Thank the bride’s parents for their various contributions and of course welcoming you into their family. It’s likely there has been financial assistance but also emotional support, wisdom and other advice along the way so refer to any of that. Also acknowledge whoever spoke on their behalf to kick things off.
- Thank your folks - after all without them, you wouldn’t be here. That is likely true in a figurative sense as well as the obvious literal one! Speak from the heart, you don’t get many chances to openly show your emotions for your parents, and how much you appreciate them.
- Your thanks to the guests is probably the most important out of everyone’s. Make sure you write a detailed list of who to thank and pay special attention to those that have travelled long distance. Also pay a little tribute to those that couldn’t make it for whatever reason.
- Introduce and thank the wedding party for their help and support throughout the planning phases and for their good spirits on the day. Acknowledge each role and person individually for their contribution. Just be mindful that if the bride is speaking, she will acknowledge her side in more depth. Pay particular attention to the best man and maybe take a chance to have a little dig at him before he tears you to shreds later. Explain how you met and why your friendship (or kinship) is so important to you. Share a story or two but don’t drag it out.
- Most importantly your beautiful bride. Your journey has finally led to this and you have now married the girl of your dreams. Do not be afraid to declare your undying love and be sappy. This is what everyone is here for, including you! If you can’t be man enough to do it on your wedding day, you have little hope of doing it afterwards. Besides, your bride puts up with your sh*t and has to forever now, so she deserves it. Thank her for saying “yes” and tell her you can’t wait to spend the rest of your lives together. Go all in and even say the things you may never have said to her before. No regrets.
- Tell the story of how you met and how you fell in love. This is absolutely necessary and the crowd will be gagging to hear it! You can wrap it up with the story of the proposal (if it’s a good one), if need be.
- Wrap up with yet another toast to your wonderful friends and family, but most importantly to your new wife.
If you are the type that’s unlikely to make it through your speech due to being too emotional or just a nervous wreck, maybe consider some of these alternative options. These options should only be a last resort!
- A video presentation, shot beforehand and played on the night. This option allows a lot more control over what you present and say. If done well it can be a wonderful addition but does add layers of work to your pre-wedding planning and also means the venue will have to have the right equipment to play it.
- A question and answer session, where guests have written their questions on cards during dinner. This way you can screen the questions beforehand. Ideally bride and groom would split the questions and get to tell their own versions of various stories that people are interested in.
- Mr & Mrs Quiz - this is similar to what you might do at your stag do, where you need to answer a series of questions about your new wife. Obviously you wouldn’t include the dirty stuff that you might include at a stag but there is still a lot of scope for laughs. You may find by the end that you’re relaxed enough to get through the formalities without too much trouble
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To read the final chapter in our 'Nailing the Speech' series, CLICK HERE