THE STAG

It's the role that the best man is known for. The role he was born to play. Here we lay out the tools for your success strategy in plain ink.

It is said that this rite of passage stems back to the days of Sparta when the legendary warrior men would gather before a wedding with the groom in huge numbers and celebrate with a typical feast and raucous antics.

Think about that for a second - around two and a half thousand years of men getting together and bonding to send one of their fellows off into the long night of marriage. Now, all of the tradition throughout those centuries has fallen to you. So what are you going to do? Just put in the minimum effort and hope for the best? Completely embarrass your best friend and get him so wasted that he doesn’t even remember his last big night of freedom?

Or would you prefer to have an amazing day, night or weekend with great mates doing what you’ve always done? Getting rowdy, playing games, being a bit stupid and indulging in your favourite vices. Activities, drinks, girls and of course much more.

We understand that for many, it’s just easier to drop straight to the gutter - put your mate in a tutu and fill him up on tequila til he vomits all over a stripper and gets sent on his way home. Here at ‘The Best Man’, we think there’s a better approach that involves the best of both worlds. Remember - you want this to be memorable. After all, he is your best mate right!
Let’s get to it.
 
 
COMMUNICATE

In 2017 it’s easier than ever to communicate with the stag list. So first things first, get a list of names and email addresses from the groom and get out your ‘hype’ email. We recommend using email in the first instance to get RSVPs from everyone and then you could choose to move to Facebook later on if you want some good banter going on. Don’t assume Facebook to be the first port of call as many people don’t have it or don’t use it often, and most people are absolutely hopeless when it comes to events on the platform.

This email should be, like everything else you do, fun and engaging. Even though you may not have any specific plans, we recommend going out with the invite email pretending like it’s going to be the adventure of a lifetime for everyone involved. Suggest to everyone that you have everything under control and are working through various options at the moment and will confirm details with them once you have all of their RSVPs. Include a rough idea of budget based on what you think people can afford or will be prepared to pay for an epic day,  and ask for feedback. Make sure you’re transparent with costs and itemise everything when it comes time to asking for money. People will obviously appreciate your meticulous thought and won’t feel that their money is being wasted.

Also ask for their potential ideas on what they think might make a great stag for the groom, just in case you’re on the wrong track. Chances are that you won’t be but it’s worth getting some opinions from the group to make them feel involved and you might just get an idea or two for the big day.
Once you have all of the RSVPs back from the necessary parties, you can get onto the grunt work of planning an epic day.

 

ACTION -  the cornerstone of a great stag

You may think it’s naked women and booze that are the most important parts of a great stag - if you do, you’re wrong. Of course those things are really important, but really you could just get out and do that on any given weekend. It requires no planning or thought put into personalising the day for your mate.

There is an image of the stag-do that is completely rough, bogan, cheesy and out of order. You could plan one of those days or you could choose to do something with a little bit more class. There are plenty of websites where you can find inflatable sheep or beer drinking helmets, but hopefully you’ve come to The Best Man because you’re looking for something a little better.

Activities play a vital role in keeping the day, night or weekend interesting for everyone, and here in NZ there is so much to do that you’d be a fool not to at least try and plan something great.

What activities you engage in will depend on a number of factors:

1. Budget - your budget should likely cover all the groom’s costs without him chipping in. At the low end you will be looking at $80-100 per person for a good day out. At the high end, like anything, the only limits are your imagination. Make sure you download our ‘Stag Budget Calculator’ from the site to help you with your planning.
2. If you want a bespoke stag experience such as a lavish weekend away full ultra-premium activities and indulgence, we offer a product called ‘ELITE’. Hand over the planning to us, and you get all the credit for something that your friends will remember forever. Guaranteed.
3. Numbers - Some activities won’t be able to handle a group of 20 or 30.
4. Interests - whilst we want everyone to have a good time, you should obviously be trying to do something that you know the groom will enjoy. 
5. Location - if you’re too remote, you will have to manage and supply your own activities.
6. Timing - both what time of day you do activities and obviously time of year. Think sun / snow (or as we can see a lot of in NZ… rain)

 

 
Below is an example of a planned stag by one of our team. Bear in mind that each type of activity was relevant to the groom - if you look to copy the format, make sure you change out the relevant activities for your groom and group. This was an action packed and long day and cost around $260pp.

 

TIME	ACTIVITY	NOTES
0800	Arrive Best Man's Place	<insert address>
0815	Depart for Bracu	Drive - 40mins
0900	Activities	Claybird Shooting Pistol Shooting Knife Throwing
1045	Return to Bracu Restaurant	Brunch
1130	Depart for Ardmore Airport	Drive - 30mins
1200	Arrive Ardmore	Blindfold groom
1215	Groom goes flying - Tigermoth	40mins approx Group plays cricket / frisbee
1300	Lunch - bakery rolls & snacks	Pre purchased / packed night before
1315	Depart for whisky tasting	Drive - 40mins
1400	Whisky tasting	Private Venue - Auckland City 8 whiskies
1530	Lawn Bowls	Balmoral Bowling Club
1700	Return to best man's place	BBQ dinner & champagne toast
1900	Head out	Clubs / Town Booth booked @ strip club, 9pm

 


Here’s a quickfire list of activities you might want to consider - remember everyone is different! 

• Compete - think mini golf, batting cages, beach volleyball, sprints at the park, basketball shooting or whatever you like. Make a competition out of it with loads of penalties for everyone!
• Games - bowling / pool / arcades. Plenty of facilities around that offer these services and will also let you drink booze at the same time. With the arcade you could even ask to private hire.
• Escape rooms - you and 5 mates get locked in a room and have to escape within the hour. What could go wrong?
• Golf - obviously this is only if the groom likes golf. There is also the very cheap option of some Frisbee golf if you can find it in your town - it’s a lot more fun than you realise!
• Wine - NZ is a champion of new world wine. Get out and enjoy it. No matter where you are in NZ, there will be a vineyard within a decent drive.
• If not wine, then whiskey. Contact your local bottle store or swag bar to see if they’ll host a private tasting for you. Can be a little pricey.
• If not whiskey... beer! Craft beer is the ‘soup du jour’ these days so find a craft beer establishment or three to get out and do some vertical tasting.
• Organise a proper game of the groom’s favourite sport. This will require a few more numbers but if you can spark up a proper game of cricket or rugby, it will be a huge hit.
• Go camping - a night out by a river or under the stars is a great bonding experience. Don’t forget the food and beersies, and avoid paid campgrounds.
• Paintball - a stag classic. Pick on the groom and leave him a few sores for his future wife to sooth.
• Fishing charter - NZ has some of the best fishing in the world and in many of the main centres you can get charter boats to take large groups of people for not much.
• Hit the snow - if the time of year suits, take a weekend away to your nearest mountain and hit the slopes. This incorporates most of the best things about a stag and is easy to organise.
• Cold water - there is the obvious white water rafting, or for the more adventurous try canyoning or if you’re near a caving facility you could try black water rafting!
• Hunting / shooting - There are some great places around that offer clay bird shooting, or you could even get out for a guided hunt.
• Poker tournament - Great way to finish the day or save money - grab a friend who has a nice place. maybe get some hostess girls if you can spring for it.
• Adventure sports - we are in the home of the adrenaline rush, so a bungy, swing or even a sky dive for the groom could be the ultimate ‘plunge’.
• Mountain biking or horseback treks - getting out of town will allow you to find these types of activities. Nature + action = good times. 
• 4WD or quad bike adventures - similar to horseback treks but for those who like high octane adventure instead.

Even just two of these activities would show that you put some effort into the day. If you’re away for a weekend then of course plan for multiple activities and what you’re going to do on night two that you couldn’t pull off on night one. Prep for the hangover in between and go hard, stag brothers!

 

CHALLENGES

Another great tradition of stag dos and bachelor parties the world over is to lay down a set of challenges to the groom for him to complete throughout the party. These will depend on your groom and the locations and activities that you’ll be undertaking for the day. The aim is to try to get the groom to embarrass himself consistently throughout the day - the penalties are up to you but as always we want the stag do that you plan to go down in history and be the most memorable day possible for the groom… so not every penalty can be a shot of tequila if you want him to last past the afternoon.

There are challenge cards and game indexes available online that make things easier for you. If you’re the DIY sort or want to personalise it to your groom, which we always recommend, then we’ve put together a long list of favourites for you to think about when planning your day. Some activities are suitable just for the stag himself, and some will be better for the group.

 

• Teach as many people as possible  at a bar how to do a line dance.
• Wear your clothes inside out with your undies over your jeans and your socks over your shoes.
• No pointing with your fingers all day - you must use your elbows / feet or anything else.
• If someone loses a bar challenge, they become a toilet paper mummy with paper from the bar’s toilet.
• No saying the D-word or its variants… that’s no saying drink, drunk, drank for the whole day. Be creative, there are loads of other words to use!
• Put on an accent and convince a total stranger that you're actually a foreigner needing help.
• Make the stag busk for his first drink. He must make enough money to buy his own drink before he can get started in the clubs or bars.
• No swearing for an hour.
• Play ‘rainbow’ - every time someone shouts ‘rainbow’ in the group, you must find a member and hold their hand. Anyone left without a hand must consume.
• Hold hands with a stranger.
• Everyone must arrive at the stag with a different brand of beer. Any double ups and the perpetrators will have to consume an entire vessel on the spot.
• Nut master - the subtle art of gross deception with your mates. He who is the nutmaster must attempt to get anyone else (in the group) to see his ballsack. He who witnesses the nut, becomes the nutmaster.
• Burpees - give the groom the option of swapping out his drink punishment for doing 10 burpees.
• Chilli or hot sauce challenge Copy everything that a total stranger is doing.
• Get the rest of the group to make up a nickname, explain to a stranger how you got it.
• Get something worth $10 for free, preferably off a girl.
• When eating out and you go to the bathroom, upon returning to the table you have to explain to the waiter where you've been (points for explaining which number).
• When leaving  the drinking table use your hands to make goggles and say ‘Biggles’ Out’, when returning you must ask for permission to land. No sitting at the group until someone has given you express permission to land. You’re also not allowed to talk to anyone until you land.
• Edward Cuppy-hands - everyone has a cup taped to one hand for the whole night, the groom has cups taped to both hands!
• If the stag has a beard – make him shave half of it off, or down to an embarrassing mo.
• Do the day (and night if possible) barefoot.
• Make the groom learn a rehearsed dance routine and tell him that everyone is learning it (they aren’t). Then on the night make him do it in embarrassing places.
• Call the bride and ask her if she knows anything about bailing people out.
• Disgusting food challenge - think insects or stuff from the butcher that usually goes to the dogs.
• Swap undies with a girl - only half points if it’s a hen on her hen night.
• Wear an adult nappy (extra points for using it).
• If any of you still know the girl you lost your virginity to, drunk call her.
• Pay  a street person to accompany the group for an hour.
• Steal something from each bar you visit - without being caught obviously!
• Charm a free drink from a bar girl or stranger.
• Buy two drinks and go over to a stranger and thank them.
• Go to a karaoke bar and pick the longest song - Bohemian Rhapsody, Hotel California, American Pie are all great ones. Get 3 of you to do them back to back!
• Sneak behind the bar and serve customers as if you work there
• Remove your underwear without leaving the room.
• No first names for the whole day. Must be nicknames or surnames!
• Any drinks spilled must result in a floor or table suck to clean up the mess.
• Find a guy you don't know. Tell him you think he's hot and get his number.
• Give a guy you don't know a sexy chair dance – this must be videoed.
• Take an old toilet plunger and use it as the vessel of punishment to consume drinks out of when being punished.
• Convince a lady to let the stag draw a penis on her forehead.
• Pull out a pube in the middle of the bar.
• Shopping list: End the night having collected, a slice of lime, a famous person’s autograph, a lighter,  a business card, a pair of tights, a condom, a tampon, a straw, a key, foreign money etc

These are just a few of our suggestions for a fun day or night out in public. Remember as always to keep yourself safe and do your best to stay out of trouble with the law. There’s usually a pretty obvious line between silly antics and ‘illegal’. If anything is remotely ‘sexual’ in nature be sure to get express permission from women and keep anything like that well out of the eyes of children.

 

ISSUE - BABY BOOMER ALERT

So we all know the baby boomers have ruined everything for the younger generations. They’ve screwed the housing market, removed free education, stagnated wages and sit back collecting cash while the rest of us struggle.
And now they want to ruin the stag. You’ve got groom’s dad, bride’s dad and potentially uncles or maybe even grandads who want to get involved in the antics - except their version of antics amounts to heading to a club rugby game on the train and getting home in time for a pre-bed cuppa.
Obviously this is a less than ideal situation for the lads amongst us that like to go really hard and not have any inhibitions on our mate’s final day or weekend of freedom, however it’s not something to fear too greatly and can be managed pretty easily in a couple of different ways. 

Firstly, as you can see, we are big advocates of planning activities and thinking about stuff that can be enjoyed by a large group of people. This means that the older generation could be involved throughout the day without too much awkwardness. No doubt the old fellas will enjoy a brew or two so will happily participate in most antics, provided they’re not too physically taxing. After a day of shooting one another with paint, or an afternoon playing sports you’ll hopefully find that they’re not too keen to kick on to the clubs later anyway.

Alternatively, if you’re really worried about them cramping your style or squealing to your mate’s future wife’s family about what nutcases he and his friends are, then you could look at planning a dual stag. Think about something that is more just a BBQ or get together for a few people at say the father of the bride’s house where you can have a few laughs over some sausage rolls and a Sprite Zero. Then you go on to plan a separate event (stag part 2?) for the young bucks who want to have the real deal. It’s probably important that you keep this on the hush hush, unless your diplomacy skills are finely sharpened to explain the separation politely!

 

COSTUMING

Ah, the age old tradition of shaming and degrading the groom on his day of reckoning. This is an outstanding addition to any stag party and we all like to take a bit of pleasure in making sure the groom is at least slightly uncomfortable for as long as possible. Whilst you can take the obvious route and dress your mate up in some fishnets and lipstick, consider some more original alternatives for a few laughs:

1. Zentai / morph suit - hot & restrictive, it’s sure to be annoying as hell for the groom. Just be sure to have decent access for drinks to get into the mouth!
2. Subtle shaming - if your friend is generally well kept or dressed, then dress him up in some horrible tourist garb. Think Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, crocs and a ‘practical’ sun hat.
3. Identity shame - if your mate is a craft beer snob, get him some low brow beer branded kit such as Lion Red, Tui etc. It will irritate him no end.
4. Sports hate - if he’s a big sports guru, deck him out in his ultimate enemy opposition. If he’s into cricket, nothing would be worse than the canary yellow Aussie kit!
5. Gimp / bondage - this one could be a bit deep for public consumption, but if you’re somewhere discreet, anything goes...

Alternatively your whole crew might be going with a theme for everyone - this is a great way to ramp up the fun and involve everyone, although can add some unnecessary cost to the day if you’re looking to hit a budget. Superheroes, farmers, priests - you may struggle to come up with something too original as a group but it will still be fun seeing what everyone’s costume is on the day.

TRANSPORT & DRIVER

You absolutely will need a driver for the day. Whether you’re looking at a slick, high end day out in executive transport or if you’re using your mate’s work van, you will need someone to drive it. If you don’t have access to transport and free drivers, this will be a major component in your budget.
Even cheap vehicle rentals will run up a couple of hundred bucks when you throw in mileage, fuel, insurance and the hire fee itself. Many vehicle hire companies will also have a 2 or 3 night minimum on their van hires so you’ll need to do some research and compare prices and make sure you factor all of this in before making your decision.

If money isn’t too much of a worry, you can find yourself a limo, hummer or private transport. This will have you sorted for a decent length of time, although to go anywhere too far out of the city centre will be a challenge.
If you’re going down the van rental route and you’ve managed to nail down a good deal, the next step is to arrange a driver. Hopefully you’re able to conjure up one of the following 3 options:

• Someone in the stag is not drinking (this maybe where those baby boomers come in handy!).
• Find a little brother of one of the stag party and slip them some cash for the day. Any youngster would love to have a cheeky hundy in their back pocket.
• An ‘associate’ that you can ask to fill in for you who will still be good value throughout the day but isn’t necessarily a really tight friend. Could be tricky politically but definitely doable.

The driver will be critical to the success of your day. That way you can participate in a variety of different activities at different locations without the worry of how you’re getting around or that someone is pushing the limits of drunk driving.

Load up with snacks, water and a good variety of beersies for the crew and you’ll be away. Don’t forget to factor in food and soft drinks for your generous driver - even if you’re paying them, it’s the polite thing to do. 

With the haze of the stag a long lost memory (hopefully it wasn’t planned too close to the wedding!), you’re moving on to the more formal aspects of your role… the wedding itself

---

To read the final part in our best man's playbook series, CLICK HERE