For better or for worse, you’re the best man. Out of all of his friends and family, he chose you. The time has come to repay his faith in you, to show him what he really means to you and to stand up and really be counted as ‘THE Best Man’.
Contained throughout this series of posts is a practical, step-by-step guide to ensure you don’t miss a trick and deliver what’s needed throughout the process. Realistically there are only two main jobs that if you get right, the rest won’t matter anyway.
HOWEVER, there is so much more that you can do to assist your main man (the groom) to have a fun and easy experience in the lead up to the impending nuptials. The role of the best man is to help guide decisions with your reliable, friendly and wise opinions. Ultimately everything comes down to what the groom wants but if he trusts you enough there will be lots of little questions that he has or insecurities that need settling down and it’s your job to throw in your thoughts when it’s asked.
In this first chapter, we outline a few things that you might want to know even before you get named as his best man. You may not officially be the best man yet, but you can still play your part.
BEFORE YOUR MATE POPS THE QUESTION TO HIS GIRL:
So your best mate has decided to take the plunge and propose to his girlfriend. At this stage you won’t be the best man as there is no event to be the best man for! But being his best mate he will no doubt be confiding in you, letting you know that he plans to propose and if he’s done his reading on our website then he will be planning a memorable experience for the two of them.
This is your queue to see if he needs any assistance or to help him plan something amazing. Whether it’s participating in an elaborate ruse to keep his soon to be fiance unaware that there might be something suspicious afoot, or hiding out of site capturing their special moment, this will ultimately come down to what their chosen experience is.
Although he will obviously call all the shots, hopefully he values your opinion enough to ask what you think of a few things. This is your chance to steer him away from anything too boring (a morning walk at the park by their house), lame (faking a heart attack and springing the ring on her with the quote “I can’t live without you!) or stupid (proposing on a roller coaster?).
Anyway, hopefully he has his shit together and you can just give him the big thumbs up and move on to helping him with his plans. If he is planning to make a particularly picturesque proposal, suggest to him that you could be positioned on site to take photos when it all goes down. It’s critical here of course that you do not get SEEN or the whole thing will be ruined… then you may not end up being best man after all!
So on to the next step - his girl has said a wonderful ‘yes!’ and they’re wrapped up in each others love in of the most special moments of their lives. Great news for them - now they need something to celebrate and enjoy the moment before posting endlessly on their social stories. An awesome way to do this is a little picnic containing a bottle of bubbles, a couple of glasses and some snacks for them to enjoy. Now the groom to be is not going to be able to bring this picnic without arousing some serious suspicion from his girl - so this is where you come in. Either drop the basket or package at a predetermined location for them to discover, or if their car is parked somewhere you could ask for a spare key and just drop it into his car before making yourself scarce.
This part is very important - do NOT stick around to say hello or congratulate them. This is their moment and they don’t need you involved. Your mate will hugely appreciate any support you’ve given him and you’ll have plenty of chances to say congratulations later.
We recommend trying to stay away from anything involving the ring. This is his responsibility and if he asks you to hide it under a rock or really do anything with it, do your best to politely decline, as you do not need that responsibility on your hands. Convince him it’s for the best that he hangs onto it.
If you have known his girl for a long time then he may want to get your advice on a few things before making a decision, such as where to go shopping for rings, locations for a proposal or any other interesting ideas or connections that you may have to make it special.
SUITS & OTHER DUTIES
Although this will be guided by the groom once again, you’re going to get an opportunity to impress your opinions and style on the group. You’re the leader of the groomsmen and you all will likely (or at least should be) wearing something a little different to the groom. He’s supposed to stand out the most of course, but that doesn’t mean you and the other boys can’t look your best too.
Make sure the groom considers how you all feel about what suit, shirts, shoes etc to wear on the day. You should feel comfortable and look good in a lineup next to the groom in the photos. Once you’ve made decisions, you may need to assist with scheduling fittings or finding the accessories to match. Pretty basic
stuff that if your groom is too preoccupied with Bridezilla to focus on, will all help in the end.
If any of the other groomsmen are coming from out of town or overseas (and you’re a local) consider putting them up at your place or finding some accommodation for them that is handy to everything.
There’s also the small matter of a groom’s gift. Plenty of options here and it will be hugely dependant on the groom. Anything from quality, time tested books all the way through to gadgets or personalised accessories. If you’re looking at something like a watch or some decent cologne, then make sure you consult with the bride to make sure there is no double up or crossover with her gift.
Check out our STORE for great gift and suit ideas.
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To read part two of The Best Man's Playbook, CLICK HERE